Get to Know Your Children

About 15 years ago, a series of questions for fathers to ask their sons and daughters was developed. I encouraged fathers to meet with their children individually and go through these questions, writing down the answers that were given. Then, fathers were to design practical projects for their children based on the needs that were discovered.

Recently, one of the fathers who carried out this exercise more than 15 years ago asked his son and daughters, “Do you remember those questions I asked you and the projects we did?” They enthusiastically responded that they did remember and that these interactions with their dad were cherished memories. Here are the types of questions that were asked:

Who is your best friend? What qualities do you admire in him or her? Does this friendship tend to build you up or pull you down?

What do you want to do with your life? Whom do you want to be like? What skills do you want to develop? Do you wonder what God’s will is for your life?

What fears do you experience? (Fear of the future? Failure? Rejection? Abandonment? Past failures being revealed?)

What books have influenced you the most? How did they influence you? Have you ever thought about writing a book? What topic could you write about?

What things in our family discourage you? (Clutter? Conflicts with siblings? Tension between parents? Unfinished house repairs? Lack of space? Rules?)

What changes would you like to see in me? (More time spent with family? Less time watching television or on the Internet? Not getting upset or angry? Greater spiritual leadership?)

What do you enjoy doing in your free time? (Sports? Reading? Projects? Time with friends?)

What hurts have you experienced from others? (Friends? Family? Neighbors?)

What things about yourself or your past would you like to change?

If you could ask God any question, what would you ask Him?

Taken from Institute In Basic Life Principles Daily Success by Bill Gothard