Tweens

Resist The "Tweening" Of America

Every so often, my friend Jen posts a link on her Facebook page that I'm sure is intended to get a rise out of me. All she has to do is direct me to a news story about tweens.

Once, she found an article about the trend among tween girls to have professional hair treatments such as highlights, lowlights, chemical straighteners and permanent curls. Unlike the home treatments we may have had our moms do for us when we were teens, pre-teenagers today get their moms to plunk down $45 or more for a salon visit where they get streaks of color not found in nature.

According to the salon owner quoted in the article, girls as young as 6 sometimes come in for color streaks in their hair; though she admitted, "8 to 12 is more the norm." Later in the story, the truth behind this style trend revealed itself: Tweens are a powerful demographic spending group, so businesses such as hair salons are finding ways to get a piece of the tween pie.


Tweenhood is a phony phase

The tweening of America makes me crazy, and not just because I live with a daughter who sings pop songs in the bathroom and has a crush on America's current teen heart throb, Justin Bieber.

I understand stereotypically tween girl obsessions – lip-gloss, cute shoes, spiral notebooks with pictures of iCarley star Miranda Cosgrove ˆ since these sorts of things are generally harmless and typical for pre-teen girls.

What bugs me about tweenhood as a bona fide life phase is, it's just phony. It was created by marketers to tap the vast pile of money to which tweens ˆ those between the ages of 8 and 12 who formerly were known as "children" ˆ now have direct access or at least direct influence.

Thanks to marketers, our children now experience something called "age compression" or KGOY, an acronym of the marketing trade that stands for Kids Getting Older Younger. This is the reason we see news headlines like one I saw a while back: "Ten is the new 15."

It works like this: Marketers get children hooked at an early age on the idea that they will be happier and more popular if they wear certain brands and have certain things. By the time they reach the ripe old age of 11 or 12, children are so savvy that they're understandably less interested in "childish" things (i.e. toys) and more interested in the things that make them cool (smartphones, laptops, make-up). At least, that's the opinion of one marketing guru who claims KGOY requires new strategies to meet the tween demand for new products and services.

Is this what our culture needs ˆ a generation of pre-adolescents skipping their childhoods only to be immersed in a state of pseudo-adulthood? How will this result in a mature society?


What's REALLY Cool in Middle School

Most parents agree that preserving and protecting a period of childhood innocence is a worthy goal. But parents are often stymied about how to do this in a culture that literally sells push-up bikini tops for 7-year-olds (Thanks, Abercrombie. Wish I was kidding ˆ see the article below in News You Can Use.)

Through my years of writing and speaking on this topic, I've discovered a powerful ally in the fight to preserve childhood innocence ˆ children! In talks to pre-teens across the country, I've shared my take on "What's REALLY Cool in Middle School." The response is awesome!


Here's what they believe is really cool:

Acting your age. Your real age! ˆ not some "wanna be" version of a teenager or young adult. Parents should hold back on privileges and activities that ought to be saved for high school (Facebook, dating, a busy adolescent social life) and instead, encourage kids to do the things they can only do while they're still young (play on a playground, climb trees, make forts with blankets in the basement).


Being yourself! Most kids admit that there are hobbies, interests, goals and dreams they would never share with their peers because they're simply "not cool." Encourage children to explore their genuine interests and be authentically themselves because being free to be themselves is way more fun!

Being a true friend. The pressure to be cool stems from the desire to be accepted. Encourage kids to make solid friendships the old fashioned way ˆ by sharing time, interests and experiences with kids they enjoy. Resist the "tween" fad of collecting virtual friends and instead, teach kids to develop genuine communication skills that will foster true friendships. (Conversation! What a concept!)

Being a homebody. Contrary to popular belief, studies of children and teens show they love spending time with their parents and families. Rather than buy into the myth that "tweens" only want their parents to facilitate their social calendars, realize they want and need to spend time together as a family. Being proud of their families is what's really cool!

Doing what's right. Middle school is a time when kids often explore unethical or immoral behaviors because the think they'll be considered cool if they take risks. Instead, teach kids that what's cool is following a strong moral compass that directs them to do the right things. It's cool to be proud of your good decisions!

Our children ˆ and our nation ˆ will be better off if we parents help our kids to grow up naturally, with the passing of time, and not artificially under the pressure to be cool and current. In this way, they'll develop the authentic good character that will help them to be truly cool adults.

http://content.eaglepub.com/?latXZZWp7tRLk2gO2xxSHCVlsHhsANMFl

Push-Up Bikini Tops For 8-12 Year Olds?

Would you buy your pre-teen daughter a push-up bikini top? One major retailer hopes you will. Abercrombie & Fitch, a popular store among teenagers, recently introduced the "push-up triangle," marketing the swim top to girls as young as 7 or 8.

But of the parents "GMA" spoke to, the reaction was unanimous -- no one would buy one for their child. "I won't be buying them for my 8-year-old," one parent said. "I thought it was a joke when I first heard about it. Then, I realized, it's so crazy, it must be true," Dr. Michael Bradley, a child psychologist, told "Good Morning America" on Saturday. Bradley said the American Psychological Association has warned in the past that retailers were going after young girls. "They're targeting girls as young as age 4 to be sexualized creatures," Bradley said.

In response to the public outcry, Abercrombie renamed the top on its online store the "striped triangle." The padding remains, however, as does the outrage. Many viewers wrote in to the "GMA" shoutout board and Facebook page. "Padded bathing suits for young school girls is vulgar," one person wrote. "Geez, we live in a scary society. I hope parents tell their children they are perfect the way they are!"

It's hardly the first time the racy company has strayed into controversial territory. A few years ago, Abercrombie offered thongs for the 10-year-old set with the words "wink, wink" stitched on the front. The company's advertisements have also raised concerns over the years for being too revealing. And Abercrombie isn't alone. Earlier this year, Wal-Mart was criticized for its plans to introduce a line of make-up products directed at girls aged 8 to 12.

Abercrombie & Fitch Still Selling Padded Bikinis
Tweens spend roughly $24 million on beauty products each year.

Bradley said the consequences on young girls may be many. "We're shaping their beliefs," he said. "We're actually teaching them that this is their primary value in this culture." He also said it can shape their behavior, harms their body image and can add unnecessary anxiety. The onus does lie with the parents, however, to keep their children out of the swimsuits, Bradley said. He advised to use the moment as a teaching moment if your child really wants the product. He said to avoid a shouting match by asking questions that spark a discussion.

"These guys really should be ashamed," said Bradley. "I hate to get this in their faces like that, but it's just wrong. It's hurting people." Abercrombie has showed no signs they plan to pull the product from its store's shelves.

http://abcnews.go.com/US/abercrombie-fitch-padded-bikini-top-year-olds-parents/story?id=13236904&page=2