True Love or Truly Depressed?
Well, it’s that time of the year again…a day of romance that brings excitement to some and dread to others – some become hopeful while others are left crushed. Which one are you? As the stores fill their shelves with Valentine goodies, cards, flowers, gifts, etc., what goes through your mind? Are you hopeful and expectant because you have a special someone in your life right now? Are you filled with expectations over what this day may bring your way? Or are you dreading it because, once again, you are hit with the reminder that you are still single and your prince has still not arrived? I mean for heaven’s sake… where is the guy?
If you are tired of being depressed or even crushed because of unmet expectations, I have the answer for you! TRUE LOVE… That’s right, ladies; the answer to all of our torment is True Love. The only problem is, we have given in to silly, unrealistic ideals and worldly, romantic notions about what True Love really is.
You see, whether we are single and depressed; courting and hopeful; engaged or married, the one thing we have in common is FOCUS. As a single, we focus on what we don’t have and what we long for, eventually falling into the “why me” syndrome (also known as depression). As a person in a courting relationship, we are hopeful that this may be the day we get asked those magical words we’ve always dreamed of. We start to wonder, “Where will he ask me? Will he get down on his knee?” As a married person, we are expectant and full of anticipation over what wonderful surprise or thoughtful gift he will come up with this year. All three scenarios have the same FOCUS and RESULT…Self and Disappointment.
You see ladies, God defines and displays what True Love really is. True Love is about giving, not getting. It is about serving, not being served. It’s about loving, not being loved. And the focus of True Love is OTHERS, not self. True Love is not focused on what someone can do for us, but on what we can do for others. The Word of God tells us that it is only when we give that we receive…that True Love lays down its life for others. True Love is not limited to the romantic love of a man and a woman; True Love goes beyond the romantic notions and expectations of feeling and emotion (John 15:13; Philippians 2:4-5; Luke 6:38; Mark 10:45).
I was a single lady for 32 years; and yes, I often asked God, “Is there someone out there for me or what?” And with all of the pressures from family and friends, along with the romantic movies, songs, and notions, Valentine’s Day could be a very depressing time. But I chose True Love. I would get excited over the fun things I could do for others (other ladies that is). And I still do today! Even though I am now married, if I had not chosen True Love as a single, I would be a very depressed married person as well. Why? Because the depression and unmet expectations of Valentine’s Day are not fixed when you get married. They are only fixed when you choose to embrace God’s ways and give up your way.
What widow could use some cheering up? Who just had a hard time and needs encouragement? What co-worker or neighbor has yet to be saved? True Love is not something you find, but something you choose to give. True Love brings joy, hope, and inspiration…because True Love is absolutely selfless.
Written by Tina Jacobs. Tina is the wife of Pastor Jacques Jacobs of Family Harvest Church in Tinley Park, Illinois. She is also the personal assistant to Dr. Robb Thompson.