Making and Keeping New Year's Resolutions
Forty percent of Americans make New Year’s resolutions. They can make a huge difference in boosting happiness in your life when accomplished. Here are some tricks for making your resolutions as effective as possible.
1. Ask: “what would make me happier?”
It might be having more of something good – like time with friends & family, more time for a hobby. It might be less of something bad – less yelling at your kids, less nagging at your spouse. It might be more time spent volunteering or doing something to make someone happier. Or maybe you need to get into an atmosphere of growth in your life by learning something new, helping someone or fixing something that isn’t working properly.
2. Ask: “What is a concrete answer that would bring change?”
One common problem is that people make abstract resolutions, which are hard to keep. “Be more optimistic,” “Find more joy in life,” “Enjoy now,” are resolutions that are hard to measure and therefore difficult to keep. Instead, look for a specific measurable action. “Distract myself with fun music when I am feeling gloomy,” “watch at least one movie each week,” “Buy a plant for my desk” are resolutions that will carry you toward those abstract goals.
3. Ask: “Am I a ‘yes’ resolver or a ‘no’ resolver?”
Some people resent negative resolutions. They dislike hearing “don’t” or “stop” even from themselves or adding to their list of chores. If this describes you, try to find positive resolutions. “Take that dance class,” Have lunch with friends once a week.” Or maybe you respond well to “no”. I actually do better with “no” resolutions. A lot of resolutions are aimed at getting me to stop doing something, or to do something I don’t want to do. There’s no right way to make a resolution, but it’s important to know what works for you.
4. Ask: “Am I starting small enough?”
Many people make super ambitious resolutions, then drop them, feeling defeated before January is over. Start small. We tend to overestimate what we can do over a short time and underestimate what we can do over a long time, if we make consistent, small steps. If you are going to resolve to start exercising (one of the most popular resolutions), don’t resolve to go to the gym for an hour everyday before work. Start by going for a 10 minute walk at lunch or marching in place once a day during the commercial breaks of your favorite TV show. Little accomplishments provide energy for bigger challenges. The humble resolution you actually follow is more helpful than the bigger resolution you abandon. Lower the bar.
5. Ask: “How am I going to hold myself accountable?”
Accountability is the secret to sticking to resolutions. That’s why groups like AA and Weight Watchers are effective. There are many ways to hold yourself accountable; for example, I keep a resolution chart. Accountability is why #2 is so important. If your resolution is too vague, it’s hard to measure whether you’ve been keeping it. A resolution to “Eat healthier” is harder to track than “Eat salad for lunch 3 times a week.”
6. Plan out steps to get to your goals.
Too often, people focus on the end result, rather than the steps it takes to get there. Do your research on what it will take to achieve your goals and make a realistic plan to get from point A to point B. If your resolution is to lose weight, determine a diet plan and a doable exercise regimen. For any of your resolutions, determine the time, effort and money you can realistically commit to that resolution. If your goal is to take up a new hobby like gardening, find a class, or join a gardening group that will get you started.
7. Surround yourself with positive reinforcement.
Keeping resolutions and developing new habits will be hard to achieve if your environment is constantly sending you conflicting messages. Find a walking partner or someone to go to the gym with who will hold you accountable for keeping your fitness resolution. If your goal is to drink less, avoid associating with people or attending social events where temptations will be hard to ignore. Read inspirational books or surround yourself with people with similar goals, or who live your desired lifestyle. If your resolution is to take that trip to Europe, display your favorite scenic spot in Europe in a place where you’ll see it everyday (perhaps on your computer desktop?). That will keep you motivated to save your money and make the necessary plans to make that trip a reality.
8. Make your resolution public.
Keeping your resolution to yourself only minimizes accountability to your goal. Tell your friends about your resolution, and if they’re your true friends, they’ll support you and hold you accountable. Sometimes, writing your resolutions down where you can refer back to it helps. Create a blog for your friends and family, or send updates via social media updating them on your resolution progress. They’ll cheer you on, and the desire not to disappoint them will motivate you to success.
9. Just do it.
Many resolutions fail even before they’re started. For example, people will wait to start their fitness routine until they feel they’re motivated enough. Sometimes, that motivation never comes and the resolutions fade until next New Year’s Eve. Getting into a new habit and seeing the positive results coming from your new lifestyle will only further motivate you to continue keeping your resolution through the year and beyond.
10. Make Time
Be sure to set aside ample time for yourself to achieve your goals. If you really want to write that book chapter, you might set aside three regular four-hour blocks during the week, and plan one day every month to track your progress. If you want to exercise more, plot out time in your weekly schedule for runs and time at the gym.
11. Move Past Doubt
Keep tabs on how often you "unset" your goals with your thoughts. Pay attention to self-sabotaging mind chatter, like: "I'm not good enough" or "I can't do it." Every thought you have is an intention. It's normal to feel fear, doubt, or worry -- but to make progress, it's important to move past those negative feelings.
If you find negative thoughts surfacing, don't criticize yourself, but stay in control. If your thoughts don't support you or your goals, let them go -- they're not doing you any good. Replace them with your positive thoughts, instead.
12. Be Still
You're more likely to slip on your goals when you're stressed or overwhelmed, so spend time every day to getting out of your thoughts and reconnecting with yourself. Try a breathing exercise, meditation, yoga, or just going for a walk. The more practice you have being still and calm, the more present you'll be for each step of acheving your goals.
Setting and reaching goals isn't about willpower, it's about the power of your intention. Once you've mastered these few steps, you'll be well-equipped to follow through on your resolutions -- this time, for good.
Taken from: The Happiness Project Blog by Gretchen Rubin &
http://lemongrove.patch.com/articles/how-to-keep-your-new-year-s-resolutions-ee03d409
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/28/new-years-resolutions-keep_n_1173253.html
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